We’re back. CNG has risen from the ashes of the 404 pile.
It’s been over two years since I put the pen to the proverbial paper in here. I honestly wish I could say that shutting the site was a function of my workload, or something – but how long does it take to smash out a few words here and there? No, I shut it down for lack of imagination.
I wasn’t travelling anymore. I had been sedentary for nearly two years at that point, and I didn’t feel I had much to say anymore. It didn’t cross my mind that my own spot of the writing world was mine, no one else’s, to be used and abused for what purpose I could think of. A sideways jaunt in to the thrills of grad school? Why the fuck not? How is that any less of a journey?
Part of me was somewhat unhappy with turning my back on traveling pursuits and a lifestyle of hedonism. I was unsure about this new direction, and wanted some time to hash it out of its own accord. An inherent insecurity kept me from securing them in writing. Now, a record of two years or so, along with the originals who went out with a stolen laptop, are gone.
So yeah, not my finest moment.
But big decisions have never been my strong point, and the last two years have featured a few of them. I got serious with a woman. I started, and finished, graduate school. I’m a few months away from applying for citizenship. I have chosen a career path, and I’m pursuing it with vigour. I’ve changed cities. It’s not all good, but enough of it is too keep me happy, for now.
In retrospect, there was pride tied up in this bull-headed decision to stay. I just didn’t want to head home in 2012. I had a great group around me, was enjoying it immensely, and wanted to leave on my own terms. I still haven’t. Australia has an annoying tendency to keep you trapped: the cost, including the astronomical urban rent, keeps my cloistered. The beach, the gym, and the road bike are the only real escapes. Operating a car is murderously expensive. These are all surmountable with decent employment, but even that is by-and-large closed to foreigners, especially without decent connections. I chose a tough land to spend half a decade in.
But the rewards?
The climate kicks fucking ass. Year-round, I’m outside. There is more exploring to be done in this underpopulated land than you can shake a froth at. The work, once you get your nose in, pays well. The people are open, hilarious, creative, and kind-hearted. The sailing is some of the best in the world. It’s clean, it’s stable, and it’s on the rise. It’s been four years in this weird land, and I love the shit out of it.
Currently, I’m working as a content write. I’m saving cash. I’m a busy guy, and that feels all right. But it is hard to shake a despondent sense of stagnation. While peers are hitting their stride in careers, I’m just starting out…nah, just kidding. If I’d have spent my twenties like my corporate drone friends, I’d have lost my fucking mind.
It’s good to be back, let’s catch up.